


Fissuring

by SkyborneVeggies



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Aromantic Doumeki, Asexual Doumeki, Introspection, Loss, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Pseudoromance, Queerplatonic Relationships, Romantic Angst, Subtext, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4362794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyborneVeggies/pseuds/SkyborneVeggies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The disparity between their loves was perhaps what most kept them from understanding eachother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fissuring

Doumeki knows that what Watanuki wants is something that he can't give. Perhaps this is why he recoils once again from the scene, where Watanuki asks with his eyes and not words (never words, because even though he's grown to become sage and wise, he's still Watanuki beneath it all, and must retain his pride). But, after all, what Doumeki wants is also something that Watanuki can't give, so he contends to himself that his actions are fair.

Doumeki wants to wrap himself around Watanuki, to clutch him safely to his chest and whisk him away from this surreality that is heavy, and grey, and thick with abstrusity. What he wants is for Watanuki to grant him permission to save him from consuming himself. But these are fools' wishes. He knows that what Watanuki wants from him is to be pressed up against a wall and devoured. And knows, too, that if he would go to the ends of the earth and back for Doumeki, then he would have given his life for Yuuko.  _Is_  giving his life for Yuuko.

Doumeki loves him in the way he loves her, and he thinks that this must be where they diverge. Because if he loved Watanuki in the way Watanuki does him, then there would be a name for this horridly heavy, desperate ache in his lungs and he wouldn't have felt so  _devoid_.

But Watanuki keeps asking, in his wordless way, and because he's never been good at rooting himself in the adverse, perhaps someday Doumeki will give in. There is, after all, only so long one can put up an obtuse front before it begins to give way. And as the rays of the next morning's sun creep in to wake them, perhaps then Doumeki will truly realize what it is he's had, and lost.


End file.
